Taking a LEAP

I wrote this note last night on facebook. Thought I'd share it here also since I haven't written anything in a while. 

This is going to be a little longer than my typical status update, so bear with me as I share a little soul-searching and go back in time ...

I was thinking while driving home (doesn't everybody do their best thinking while driving the same route every day or is that just me) my decision to begin my own personal Body by Vi Challenge back in September 2010. I was in a funk at the time. Not depressed, mind you ... or at least I don't think I was depressed. Funk really is the best way to describe it. No self-confidence, very little self-esteem, didn't really feel that it was worth it to take care of myself. Of course, that self-destructive thinking just led me into a deeper cycle of not feeling worthy. How could I not feel like I was good enough to make better decisions where my health was concerned? After all, I am married to the most wonderful man in the world and we are blessed with two incredible children (yep, I'm a little biased on that subject). If that isn't reason enough to take care of my body, what does it take?

I still can't tell you exactly what happened to give me the nudge to give weight loss another try (God does work in our lives each day, I KNOW that's the case here). I had yo-yo dieted for years since my college years in the late '80s and early '90s. Lose 10, 15, 20+ pounds and then gain them back along with a few extra - lather, rinse, repeat again, again and again. But, I felt the nudge and started the Body by Vi Challenge on September 3, 2010 - yep, I remember the exact date.

Was it easy at first? I didn't expect it to be. But, in all honesty, I enjoyed the shakes and wasn't too hungry those first couple of days. I did have a wicked headache during the evening on those first two days and they were whoppers. But honestly, I'd been abusing my body for so long with incredibly bad food choices that I believe I had to go through a little bit of a detox. I stuck with it and started feeling GREAT. Even better the pounds started coming off ... not the gangbusters results some people have with 6-8 pounds in the first week. But it was a steady loss. Then my clothes started hanging a little so I tracked my measurements - even bigger results there! My energy increased and along with that, so did my feelings about myself. A little more self-esteem does wonders for your self-confidence. 

So I lost a total of 23 pounds and more total inches than that moving from a very tight size 16 to a size 10. I'm going to be honest here, because I'd expect everybody else to be. I put a little bit of that weight back on during the holidays, but you know what? I don't regret it one bit. I made a conscious decision to enjoy the full experience of the holidays. Our family celebrations for the most part center around food and socializing. We had an incredible holiday season and I wouldn't change that now even if I could.

Now my Body by Vi Challenge goals are to get back to that 23 pounds lost plus 7 more for 30 total pounds. My focus right now is to really up my exercise because I absolutely love a great, intense, sweaty, exhausting workout (that's what she said). By the time we go to Alabama in September for our first wedding for the next generation of the Hawkins family, I plan to be wearing a size 8. There, I said it!

If you've gotten to the bottom of this looooong note, well, I thank you. I'm sure most people will pass it by and that's really okay. This was really just a therapeutic writing for me anyway. I'm not even going to go back and proof it before I post it. I'm sure a lot of people get tired of seeing my facebook wall dominated with Body by Vi updates, but seriously people, these products have improved my life in a way I didn't even know was missing. I want to share that with others by paying it forward. Why would I want to keep that a secret?

Take care, everybody ... God is indeed good and offers us more blessings than we will ever realize! 

Renewing Ourselves

Our choir's special at church this morning was special indeed ... happy new year's everyone. May 2012 be the year to live your life abundantly and in His word.

This is a day of new beginnings,
time to remember and move on,
time to believe what love is bringing,
laying to rest the pain that's gone.

For by the life and death of Jesus,
love's mighty Spirit, now as then,
can make for us a world of difference
as faith and hope are born again.

Then let us, with the Spirit's daring,
step from the past, and leave behind
our disappointment, guilt and grieving,
seeking new paths, and sure to find.

Christ is alive, and goes before us
to show and share what love can do.
This is a day of new beginnings;
our God is making all things new.

In faith we'll gather round the table
to show and share what love can do.
This is a day of new beginnings;
our God is making all things new. 

(This is a Day of New Beginnings, words Brian Wren - copyright 1975, 1995 Hope Publishing Co.)

Brain dump

What to write, what to write?


Hmm, so I have a few quiet minutes here with the laptop. I've ignored my blog for too long but now that I have the time to sit down and write a post, I have absolutely no idea what I want to say. 


Solution? Random thoughts in a bullet points list, of course!

• My struggle to lead a more disciplined life continues. I've had a lot of success losing weight these last 10 months and that has certainly required a lot of discipline. Heck, it's the most success I've ever had as I've discussed several times on this blog. I've just got to find a way to be more disciplined in other areas as well.
• Since I started this blog as a place to capture my thoughts about running, I'll point out that's one area that I'm still lacking discipline. I'm in the midst of training for the Medoc Trail Races in October. It's so freakin' hot here in NC that I'm having a hard time getting in my mid-week runs. I really, really, REALLY need to get these runs out of the way and do them in the early morning. And again, we go back to the lack of discipline thing. I am not a morning person - never have been. I swear it's like my semi-awake, early-morning self is another person. I go to bed with the best intentions to get up early. But that other person takes over and my feet never even hit the floor.
• Speaking of waking up early, school starts in 5 weeks. Yikes! Kate will be in the 6th grade and Will starts kindergarten. I can't think about that too much yet. I just can't believe he's old enough for school ...
• It may be stifling hot outside (even now at 9:00 pm), but it's very cool in my house (my husband Taylor and I definitely have different ideas of what room temperature really is). I stopped writing for a few minutes so I could put on my pajamas and socks.
• Kate's softball team has a tournament this weekend in Angier. The temps are supposed to be around 100. Already dreading it even though we love watching her team play. 
• I'm thinking of giving Taylor a short list of running "things" that I'd like to have for my birthday in October. I really don't want to put anything big on that list (although a Garmin would obviously be nice). The first item I've thought of is a fuel belt. I enjoy having a bottle with me but my handheld has started leaking so I need something else. It would be nice to have my hands free. Christy has a Nathan fuel belt for women that she recommends. Anybody else have any suggestions for a fuel belt or other gift ideas?
• We have Vacation Bible School next week. The pictures taken of me last year during VBS were what finally gave me the motivation to take control of my eating and lose weight. So, in honor of the changes I've made during this past year, here's a "before and after" collage of pictures to close this post. Based on the noise my children are making, I think my quiet time with the computer is over for now ...

What a difference a year makes

Me Likey

I had to take a picture last night for a Body by Vi ad that will be running soon in our local newspaper. Luckily, I had my hair cut earlier in the evening and was thrilled with my new 'do. I kept looking at the camera after my husband took each picture and thinking to myself "that's really me!"


A lot has changed since September. I'm still kind of in shock.

The pictures that started it all (don't look at the hair, it was very hot) - late July 2010

Yikes!

My "official" Body by Vi "before" picture September 2010 - so bad that I rarely show it to anybody

The most current "after" picture - completed by the huge smile

Even the cross on my necklace hangs lower now. This is a complete pat-myself-on-the-back post but I am just so FREAKIN' excited that I had to share.

Friend Makin' Monday

From Kenz at All the Weigh


If you've taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you're new, please take a moment to answer this week's question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. 

Please invite your blog readers to add their links here too so everyone has to opportunity to be seen.  The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it's time for this week's topic! 

What makes you awesome? List at least five qualities/hobbies/habits make you cool and unique?

I find it difficult to even accept compliments from others without replying "thanks, but ..." It's even harder to compliment myself like this! But here goes.

1- I am fairly easy-going and "laid back." I try not to let situations and/or people get the best of me. As I try to teach my children, the only thing you can can control is your own actions and reactions. 

2-I generally view life in a positive way. Maybe it's naiive of me or even simple, but for the most part, I believe things are everything is going to be just fine. I'm definitely a glass "half-full" sort of person.

3-When I really, really, really set my mind on meeting a goal, I can do it. Obviously my latest accomplishment is my weight loss and that's still ongoing. Here's the "but" to that statement, though ... if I haven't truly made up my mind to do something, I'll procrastinate and make every excuse in the book why it's not the thing to do. So just a little bad thrown in with the good.

4-As my Daddy used to say, "she's tender-hearted & there's nothing wrong with that." Yeah, I like to think I'm a compassionate, sympathetic (or is that empathetic) person. Being able to relate to others in a kind (and Christian) way is important.

5-I'm awesome because I'm ME & I'm the only one (yeah, stretching here for that number 5 - told you it's hard for me to compliment myself!)

So what about you? What makes you awesome? Give yourself a compliment today!

Three Things Thursday

I'm still here and still suck at establishing at any sort of blogging routine - so nothing new there. So I'm going to write this post the easy way: three things Thursday, bullet-style!

• I'm still doing really well with my weight loss, nutrition and fitness. I'm at my lowest weight in years - 158.5 this morning. I found my wellness program numbers from 2008 a few weeks ago. I was 188 that August which I believe is my heaviest non-pregnancy weight. Most of those 30 pounds have been lost since September 2010 when I started my Body by Vi challenge. I feel so good and am so energized that I now go to the gym 3 mornings a week at 5:30 a.m. I'm not exactly jumping out of bed with a huge smile on my face at 4:50 a.m. in order to make the 20-minute drive into town, but I love it afterwards. Tuesday and Thursday mornings are group classes with hand weights and steps. I am a drippy, sweaty mess afterwards but it's an incredible way to start the day. Wednesday mornings are treadmill runs, which oddly enough, I really enjoy. I guess it's because I don't normally have easy access to a treadmill so I try to turn it into a speedwork session. Routinely hitting the gym this early in the morning is a HUGE accomplishment for me as I have never been a morning person!

• The Canal Half Marathon is this weekend. This is the half I ran last year with such a horribly slow time thanks to the muddy trail. It's also the event that started an emotional downward spiral that made my self-confidence hit an all-time low. My plan since last fall has been to conquer it this year. Unfortunately that's not going to happen. I didn't stick to my training plan close enough and my right heel still gives me problems for a few days after long runs. But here's the positive outcome. I downgraded to the 8k and best of all, my husband Taylor is going to run it with me. After 2 1/2 years, he's finally given in to my pleadings to join me in this "running thing." He won't admit it quite yet, but I think he enjoys it (sweetie, in case you're reading this, just agree with me).

• The ACC tournament starts today - my absolute favorite time of the year when it comes to sports. I have to say it since it's my alma mater ... go wolfpack! I don't think there's much of a chance we'll play any more this year after tonight's game with Maryland, but it would be wonderful to be wrong.

Goals for 2011 - Recycling is the Key!

Geez, way to start the new year. My first post of 2011 is kind of late. Oh, well, my blog, my rules, right?

Like so many others, I have set New Years resolutions for countless years. And, then again like so many others, those resolutions fall to the wayside by February not to be looked again until it's time to set resolutions again for the next year.

A new strategy for this year: recycle last year's specific goals for this year. Recycling is always good!

Anyhoo, let's take a look at last year's progress and what I'm working towards again this year.

Lose weight: reach and maintain 150 pounds - FAIL

I'm actually quite pleased with my weight loss success in 2010. According to my Buckeye Outdoors training log, I weighed 181.5 1/1/10. At some point during the year, I distinctly remember weighing 186 pounds because I had setup a weight loss ticker for this blog that I deleted once it started depressing me. I didn't reach the 150 pound mark, but I am in the low 160s for the first time in years. That is a huge accomplishment! I will weigh 150 pounds or less on 12/31/11!

Run more miles: run 520 miles before January 1, 2011 - FAIL

Not just a FAIL but a big, fat FAIL! The disappointment of a super-slow time at the half-marathon in March resulted in a huge let-down and no running at all until June. Not only did I fall out of love with running, I moved past like and viewed it as a chore for several months. It took a long, long time to start enjoying running again. I've hesitated setting this as a goal again, but I'm going for it anyway since running is so much easier and enjoyable now that I've lost weight.

Race different distances: complete at least one at each of the following distances - 5k, 10k, 10 miles and half-marathon - SUCCESS

Well, that's better. I'm not sure which of the distances I prefer. I liked them all, actually, and would love to run a race of all these distances again in 2011.

******

Don't forget my Body by Vi giveaway that ends tomorrow (Thursday, January 6). A little self-promotion never hurts, does it? And you have a pretty good chance of winning because there aren't a lot of entries yet!

Sweet 16

I haven't spent much time in blog-land lately. I know my massive group of followers has missed me terribly :-)

The good news is that I've been away simply because I've been busy for positive reasons: family time, work, focusing on LOSING WEIGHT!

Oh, yeah, why is 16 so sweet? Check it out ...

16 pounds and 16 inches lost in 90 days thanks to Body by Vi

I married my best friend 16 years ago today

I'm going to do my best to write a longer post with some new weight loss progress pictures this weekend, but I just wanted to put this out there for the world to see now. I am LOVING life!

So excited!

Just a quickie post at lunch to announce that life is great here in GISrunner-land!

I'm losing weight. In fact, I've lost 7.5 pounds in a little over two weeks and 5 inches overall. My pants have gotten quite baggy! I feel absolutely wonderful, too. I'm finally making good nutritional choices, have cut the crap out of my diet and it's paying off big time. This Body by Vi 90 Day Challenge is working like a charm!

Since I've been feeling so much better and am not lugging around quite as much blubber, my runs have improved, too. I'm still slow but I'm increasing the running intervals and reducing the walk portions. My last 2 long runs have been 6 miles and I finished both feeling that I could have kept on going. I even managed to do a 5-mile midweek run. That is huge for me!

And just to share one thing today that really made me smile - here's the end of an IM this morning between my husband Taylor and me ("love you so much in the world" is our little saying that our daughter started when just learning to string words together into sentences)

Medoc Ten Miler

Today has been a great day! I accomplished my goals at the Medoc Ten Miler this morning. Now, I'm on the sofa and will be napping as soon as I type this. Score!

This was a race of many firsts for me: first trail race, first time going 10 miles, first time at a race less than ten miles from my house (that was incredible), first race medal and first time at a race with a marathon (so inspiring, don't know that I'll ever be at a point where I can do that, but I loved seeing those guys/gals today).

Honestly, for the first time I felt like a REAL runner while out on the trails today. Not because I ran the entire way or because I was blazing fast: big NOT to both of those. But I really felt like I was the exact place I wanted to be and I just felt "right."

It was tough but I had a plan/goal in mind and I stuck to it. Since this was my first trail race and I knew the rocks, roots & hills would be much tougher than the paths here on the farm, my very conservative plan was to run 4 minutes/walk 1 minute. My time goal was 2:30 or 15 minute miles ... yep, I'm still very, very slow but I'm getting better.

When I came home, Will asked me "did you win, Mama?" My answer: "yeah, I did sweetie" because I did exactly what I set out to do. I finished in 2:28 something (forgot to stop my watch when I crossed the mat). I lost a couple of minutes sometime during mile 5 because I backtracked and was convinced I'd gone on the wrong trail because the flags were placed a farther apart than they had been everywhere else. There weren't too many people behind me and I was by myself most of the time except when some of the fastest marathoners passed me on their next loop.

I had a great, great time! It was so much fun and I loved every minute of it (yes, even while struggling on those steep stairs at mile 8 and during mile 9)! I'm absolutely convinced now that if I can finish 10 miles at Medoc, I can definitely do 13.1 at the Roanoke Canal Trail Half Marathon in March. I'll hopefully be running at a faster pace by then, too.

I've been looking at some online HM training plans and I've found a novice plan that I think will work for me. It's scheduled to begin the week of Thanksgiving. I'm ready to start now! But that's just the "high" from today. I'll just stick to doing easy runs 3 times a week between now and then. I'm also going to focus on losing about 10 pounds in the next 5 weeks. That will definitely help, too. I know my weight works against me and makes running harder than it needs to be. Sigh ... it's a lifelong battle that's just really, really hard.

The Canal Trail HM should be easier than today's ten miler. The Canal Trail is mostly flat and isn't rooty and rocky like Medoc's trails. Medoc has some steep ups and downs in sections, too (well, steep for northeastern NC). The good news is that, like today, I'll be guaranteed a PR since it'll be a new distance for me!

I guess that's it for now. This sofa is very comfy and I've earned this nap!

Mile 1: 12:06
Mile 2: 15:59 (includes a stop by my car to drop off my sweatshirt)
Mile 3: 15:48
Mile 4: 15:12
Mile 5: 16:32 (includes the backtrack to confirm I wasn't off the trail)
Mile 6: 13:52
Mile 7: 15:04 (ate 1/2 granola bar, steep stairs at the very end)
Mile 8: 13:56
Mile 9: 15:29 (more steep stairs)
Mile 10: 14:11

Chip time: 2:28:13.9 / 14:50 pace

The pounds are a-kickin' & a-screamin'

Obviously, one of the initial reasons to begin running was because it's an efficient means to an end. My overall goal is to lead a healthier life so that I will be a much more healthy, much more happy wife and mom for my family. Running is an incredibly effective way to achieve that overall goal.

So after 11 weeks I am very pleased to report that I feel great and definitely have a healthier body. I may not be losing a huge amount of weight as far as the pounds go, but I'm losing inches as I can definitely tell a difference in my clothes. Most important, I am proud of my accomplishments and that equates to just a happier, more self-confident person.

I read this quote by a poster on one of the Runner's World forums & think it's a hilarious way of describing the difficulties of weight loss ...

"There is no efficient way to lose weight. You have to peel the pounds, one by one, kicking and screaming off your thighs, butt, and waist. Then you have to throw them as far away from you as possible, knowing that they're only going to travel a few feet. Then you have to do anything you can to get as far away from them as possible. You can run, bike, yoga, swim, or crosstrain. Anything that puts distance between you and the evil pounds, and you know that they're going to be right behind you laughing as soon as you peek over your shoulder. And they're armed with doughnuts."

My old self ...

So do I have an old self I'm trying to leave behind by taking up running? Yep, probably so ... the old self that liked to say "I can't do this because ____________"

Yep, I can do anything ... it's just a matter of setting my mind to it and not letting the self-doubt take over.

I am blessed with a wonderful life. I'm married to my soul-mate -the man I love and have loved for many, many years and our two children are such a gift from God that it makes my heart want to burst. And I need to accept that I am deserving of all of these gifts and, at the same time, I deserve to believe in myself in other ways, too.

So how does this fairly new running "obsession" fit into it all? It's a way of letting myself go & taking the challenge to do something that's tough and new ... and about having the courage to do something that has the possibility of failure ... and then overcoming that potential failure.

Make sense? Maybe not to anyone else, but to me, yeah it does make a lot of sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sElYG7LmUU

Even I'm still amazed ...

It's been 5.5 weeks and I'm still waking up at what is, for me, the ridiculous time of a few minutes before 6:00 each day to work out. But it gets even better ... every other day during those 5.5 weeks with few exceptions I've actually been going outside & running.

I know, I can't believe it either! 5.5 weeks of consistent anything is like 5.5 months in Doris-years. I've had so many times in my life of starting a hobby/project/almost anything & being so very excited for a week or so & then tiring of it.

But not this, not so far. I'm still struggling with running for a very long time, but I've built up to 4 minutes & then recovering by walking for 2-3 minutes before starting another 4 minute run. I've even signed up for a 5K on Saturday, September 13. I have 2 goals for the 5K: 1) run more minutes than I walk and 2) not finish in last place. The unwritten but obvious goals are obviously: 1) do not die and 2) finish the race.

So there you go. Things have been exciting for me since July 30. I've started a healthier lifestyle that I'm really enjoying. And I'm doing something new by running a 5K. And now a blog ... wow, what next?