I can't believe how difficult it is to write this post. I've struggled several times with what to say, what not to say and just haven't been able to type out the words to begin.
I began running two years ago as an attempt to begin a healthier lifestyle, but just as important, it was an attempt to start a new hobby for me ... an attempt to succeed at something by not procrastinating or being lazy. So far, it's been a mixture of successes and failures, much like life in general.
I've completed 5k's, a ten miler and a half-marathon. Completed the distances, that is, but have not successfully completed the training plans. And with a disappointing half back in March, I took a huge break from running. Yes, I was extremely proud of myself at first for completing the 13.1 miles on an incredibly muddy course (amazing what an entire week of rain will do to a trail), but I started beating myself up shortly afterward for not completing the training plan's midweek runs. I did a pretty good job at the weekend long runs, but I found it difficult to get in the shorter distance runs during the week. The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself I screwed up and the downward spiral began.
So here it is, almost five months later and time to begin training for the Medoc 10-miler again. And ... I slept in yesterday and today and still haven't done the first weekly run, a measly 2 miles. My weight has crept up again and reaching 150 pounds seems like an impossibility. I'm eating way too much crap. It'll take a miracle to reach 500 miles for the year.
But still, somewhere inside me, there's a part that thinks I can achieve big things in running. Big things, like 26.2 miles in March 2011. But it'll take discipline and determination to complete a training plan during the winter. Can I do it? Jeff Galloway says I can, if I follow his plan. There's even a podcast providing inspiration.
For now, though, it's baby steps again ... but at least that's moving forward.